Church On Sunday
by RehabReject
Summary: Future Fic. Ryan and Marissa are married and have what looks like the perfect life. Everything is fine untill Ryan makes one mistake that tears them apart. Finally updated.
1. Church on Sunday

**Title:** Church on Sunday

**Summary: ** Future Fic, Ryan and Marissa are married, but they are having marital problems. RM angst. Song fic to Green Day's "Church on Sunday".

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the O.C. sadly, I also do not own Green Day, the rights to "Church on Sunday" or Billie Joe Armstrong's songwriting ability.

Marissa was thirty years old. She had been Marissa Atwood for seven years. They had gotten married on the beach, she remembered it so well, how did everything go downward from there. She guessed that after the birth of there children, Kira and Tyler, they just stopped communicating. Now Ryan worked all the time, nothing was going as planned.

_Today is the first day of the rest of our lives_

_Tomorrow is too late to pretend everything's all right now_

She was sure that he didn't love her anymore. That he had found someone better and younger then she was. But she could never be too sure, because they never talked anymore. But Marissa was pretty positive, because whenever he came home really late on a Saturday night like tonight he smelt like fancy perfume, which wasn't hers. And he always came home drunk. It seemed like that was all that he did, eat, sleep, drink, and work.

_I'm not getting any younger as long as you don't get any older_

_I'm not going to state that yesterday never was_

Marissa sat on the living room couch holding a picture of the four of them that was taken last year at the beach. Everyone had a big smile on their face, Ryan's are was draped casually around Marissa's shoulder, that was taken right before everything went downhill. She felt the tears slide down her face, but she didn't care so what if her kids saw her crying, she knew that they were going to find out sooner or later.

_Bloodshot deadbeat and lack of sleep_

_Making your mascara bleed_

_Tears down your face_

_Leaving traces of my mistakes_

The door opened and Ryan stumbled in, obviously drunk once again.

"Marissa, is that you? What are you doing up so late? Did you wait up for me because I'm a big boy, I don't need a babysitter."

Marissa turned to face him, her face was wet and sticky with tears, "Ryan why did you do this to me, to the kids? Why are you like this, did I do something wrong? Ryan please tell me I can't take this anymore. I want a divorce."

"Wha…what? Marissa you can't be serious. What about the kids? What about me? Riss I love you, you know that. Why are you doing this to me? Don't leave me please."

_When I say_

_If I promise go to church on Sunday_

_Will you go with me on Friday night_

_If you live with me I'll die for you and this compromise_

"Ryan, I don't know that you love me. You never talk to me, it's always the same thing, you go to work, come home really late usually smelling of alcohol, you go to sleep, then the next morning wake up and go straight back to work! You are not the same man I married!" Marissa heard her voice screaming at Ryan, she could hear a soft, "Mommy." in the background. But that didn't matter, she was going to get the truth out of Ryan.

"What the hell do you mean Riss? I come home late because I work do put food on this table, that's more than you do! And you know what I may not be the same man you married because you are definitely not the same woman I married." Marissa felt tears spring to her eyes, Ryan had never yelled at her before, what was going on with them.

_I hereby solemnly swear to tell the whole truth_

_And nothing but the truth is what I'll ever hear form you now_

Ryan glared at Marissa,"You don't know what you're doing! You are tearing apart a perfectly happy family."

Marissa was shocked, "A perfectly _happy_ family? We are far from happy, and you know that."

"What do you want Marissa? What do you want from me?"

"I-I just want the truth Ryan, I want to be able to talk with you like we used to. I want the old Ryan back."

"You want the truth well here it is, I work all the time because I am scared that this will happen, because the longer I work the less time I have to be with you! I drink because I am stressed out. Okay there it is that is all I have to say."

"I know that that is not the full truth. You are still hiding something. You come home every night with that same girl, you spend late nights at the office with that girl. I want to know who that girl is. Who is she Ryan?"

_Trust is a dirty word that comes from such a liar_

_But respect is something I will earn if you have faith_

Ryan stared at Marissa, he knew that their life wasn't perfect and that was the reason why he had begun spending more time at the office. And yes maybe he did kiss his co-worker Samantha once or twice, okay maybe more than once or twice, but he hadn't done it deliberately it just happened.

"Marissa why can't you just trust me? Why can't you just believe me? Everything I said was true. Just trust me Mari-"Ryan's sentence was cut off by the ringing of the telephone. Ryan reached over to grab it but Marissa got it before him.

"Hello?"

"_Hello is Ryan there."_

"May I ask who's speaking?"

"_It's Samantha. I just wanted to make sure he got home okay. His cell was off so I decided to phone the house. Can I talk to him?"_

"Well, _Samantha_," Ryan's eyes widened when Marissa said that name, "I think that you should know that this is Ryan's wife you are talking with. And if I was you, I would stop cheating on me with my husband!" Marissa slammed down the phone, and started to cry.

_Bloodshot deadbeat and lack of sleep_

_Making your mascara bleed_

"Ryan you obviously did not tell me the truth, because if you had why the hell would she phone to see if you got home alright? And don't tell me she's just a friend."

"But she is just a friend."

"Don't give me that bull Ryan, I know that you are having an affair, you know I was cheated on more than once in my life." Marissa felt the tears running down her face, she could taste the saltiness on her lips, "Just please tell me the truth."

_Tears down your face_

_Leaving traces of my mistakes_

"Marissa please stop crying, I can't take it anymore. I know that messed up, I know that. And I'll admit to you yes I was having an affair, but I was afraid, you were slipping further and further away from me. I didn't want to lose you."

"So by having an affair that solves your problems? That solves nothing, you could have just talked to me. Why did you have to hurt me? Why did you hurt me?"

Ryan looked into Marissa's clear blue eyes, which were dark and wet from tears and anger, "Marissa I didn't mean to hurt you. I just needed something to clear my head, and Samantha was there, she understood what I was going through, she helped me get through it. Please trust me on that."

_When I say_

_If I promise go to church on Sunday_

_Will you go with me on Friday night_

_If you live with me I'll die for you and this compromise_

Marissa looked at Ryan's hurt look on his face, but she knew what she had to do, "Ryan, please I don't know what I want to do. I'm going to get the kids up and I'm going to Seth and Summer's for the night." She watched his face turn into a hurt and confused look.

"But we can work things out. We can figure out how to do this. Please don't leave Riss, please."

_If I promise go to church on Sunday_

_Will you go with me on Friday night_

_If you live with me I'll die for you and this compromise_

"Ryan I've made up my mind. I am not saying that we will get a divorce, yet. I just need time to think."

She walked upstairs into Tyler's room, "Hey Ty grab some clothes and toys cause we're going to Auntie Summer's and Uncle Seth's for the night."

"Mommy, does that mean I can play with my cousins?"

"Tomorrow you can, it's a bit too late tonight."

"Okay mommy, I'll be ready soon."

Marissa exited the room to find Ryan standing there, "Marissa, please don't leave me here. Please!"

"Ryan could you please move, I need to go get Kira."

_If I promise go to church on Sunday_

_Will you go with me on Friday night_

_If you live with me I'll die for you and this compromise_

Marissa pushed past Ryan and went into her two year old daughter's room, where she grabbed some toys and clothes put them into a bag, picked up Kira and marched right back out. She took Tyler's hand and pushed them towards the door.

"Marissa don't leave please."

"Ryan it's too late."

"Please Riss, we can make things better." Ryan was close to tears as he begged his wife not to leave.

_If I promise go to church on Sunday_

_Will you go with me on Friday night_

_If you live with me I'll die for you and this compromise_

_And this compromise_

_It's a compromise_

"Ryan we'll talk tomorrow. Good-bye." Marissa walked out of the house, put the kids in the car and drove off. Ryan leaned up against the closed door, he slowly sank to the floor and that's where he sat for who knows how long, he just sat there and silently cried.


	2. If I could go Back in Time

**Title:** Church on Sunday

**Summary: **Future Fic, Ryan and Marissa are married, but what happens when Ryan does something that he'll soon regret. RM angst.

**Chapter two:** If I Could go Back in Time

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the O.C. sadly, though I wish I did.

* * *

Marissa stood outside the younger Cohen's door, knocking on it furiously. The wind whipped her hair around her face, and she could feel the cold rain start to fall on her head, _come on Summer, answer the door_. She glanced back at her car where Kira and Tyler sat sleeping without a care in the world.

She let her mind wander but her chain of thoughts were broken with a confused, sleepy voice calling out into the dark night.

"Coop? That you?"

Marissa turned around to face her best friend and managed to choke out four words, "Ryan cheated on me." She watched Summer's face go from confused to horrified in the matter of a second, "Marissa, where are the kids?"

She pointed a shaking finger towards her car and let out a huge sob. She sank to the steps where she put her head in her hands. She was unaware that Summer had gone out to the car and grabbed the kids until she heard a little, "Mommy?" come from her daughter's mouth.

She pulled her head up to see a frightened little girl staring at her full of concern, "Mommy, don't cry mommy pwease." But hearing her daughter telling her to stop only made her cry harder.

"Come on you two lets get you inside." Summer's reached for Kira and Tyler's. Marissa hauled herself up and followed Summer, her legs weak and shaking the whole way. "Marissa you can take the room at the end of the hallway, I'll put the kids to bed." Marissa gave a slight nod of her head and walked down the hall and opened the door and sat down on the blue bedspread, and buried her head in her hands, and cried.

* * *

Marissa's P.O.V.

How could he? How the hell could he doe this to me? Last year at this time we were a happy, loving family, how could one year make such a huge impact.

I know that I have not been the most supporting wife, but he didn't have to go off and do this to me. It seems that ever since Kira's first birthday party we have steadily grown further and further apart with each passing day. I had a feeling that it would end with a divorce, why can't he get it.

My biggest fear is the kids, how could he do this to them? What am I supposed to tell them, hey guys your daddy is two timing pig, and we are getting a divorce. That would really go over smoothly. When did life start to get so hard? Why can't it just go back to how it was in high school?

We were so happy in high school, it was just the four of us, Seth, Summer, Ryan, and me. Collage was good too, I mean Seth and Summer got married in their second year and Ryan and I tied the knot three years later. We never had the idea in our heads that it would end like this. I can taste the saltiness of my tears and they fall down from my eyes and run over my lips.

I want to go back, back to the beginning of our problems. This time I would talk about it with Ryan, I wouldn't keep it all locked up inside. Please, let me go back in time, please. I need to make this right with Ryan. I won't be able to go on without him.

* * *

Ryan sat, still slumped up against the door, waiting for Marissa to walk balk in so that he could apologize and life could go back to normal. Everything could be how it used to be.

He knew that he was extremely stupid, how did he ever let that happen. How did he let Samantha kiss him? Why didn't he pull away the first time? All Ryan had now was memories and questions. Questions, which may never be answered.

He ruined it for himself. He had a loving wife, and two beautiful children. How did he just throw it all away? He cried hard that night, Ryan never cried, but tonight the tears had freely flown since the moment Marissa walked out of that door.

A million questions were running through his head, but the one that stood out the most was why. Why did he do this? And why did that happen? But he knew that sitting against the door they would never get answered.

He wanted to phone Seth, but he would have to risk Summer answering the phone, and that would not go over well seeing as Marissa was her best friend and all. But trying wouldn't hurt would it?

Ring Ring

"_Hello?"_

Shit, Summer answered the phone, "Hi Summer" he mumbled weakly into the phone.

"_What the hell do you want Ryan?"_

"I want to talk to Marissa."

"_Well, I really don't think that she wants to talk to you. Don't call back, she'll call you when she's ready."_

"But, I really ne—"the line went dead. He expected that to happen, just he didn't thing that he would fell so bad after that.

After the phone call was made he whispered quietly to himself, "It really happened. It wasn't just a dream. God, what am I going to do?"

So he knew that nothing would be normal anymore, but he really didn't think that his marriage would end in divorce.

* * *

Ryan's P.O.V.

I know, I know. I really screwed things up this time. God I'm such an idiot.

So I guess this is it. This is real. I wish so badly that I could take it all back. I really mean it, I don't know why the hell I did what I did.

It hurts so badly. Marissa took everything that mattered in my life, my kids and herself. Everything in my life is screwed now.

I wish so badly that I could take back the things that I said, the things that I did. I can't believe that I actually cheated on Marissa.

If I could go back in time, I would change everything that I did. I would have talked to Marissa when things started to go bad. I would have. If I could just go back in time.

* * *

So, should I continue? 


	3. I Still Love You

**Title:** Church on Sunday

**Summary: **Future Fic, Ryan and Marissa are married, but what happens when Ryan does something that he'll soon regret. RM angst.

**Chapter two:** I Still Love You

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the O.C. sadly, though I wish I did.

* * *

Marissa pulled herself out of bed and trudged down the stairs leading into the Cohen's kitchen. She sat down at the table just as Summer walked in.

"Hey Coop, how are you feeling?"

Marissa stared at her with a grim expression on her face, "How do you think I'm feeling?" She snapped out at Summer, "I'm sorry, I just, I don't know. Everything has been rough for the past year and now this to top it all off. I mean why does everything bad have to happen to me?" Marissa blinked back the tears before they started to fall.

"I'm sorry too, but you know that no matter what there will always be room for you in this house. I mean I don't know how well that will go over seeing as Seth and Ryan are really close, but things will get better soon. You do still love him, don't you?" Summer bit her lip as she felt tears welling up in her eyes, this was her best friend going through all this pain. She knew that her life had been going pretty well, she had married Seth and they had four kids. She also knew that she would hate it if this was her in so much pain. She glanced back at Marissa.

"Sum, I—I do still love him. I always will love him, with all of my heart. I just really don't think I will ever be able to trust him again. But right now for all I care he can go to hell! He messed up big time. But Sum it hurts, I miss him so much." Marissa couldn't take it anymore she ran back up to the bedroom where she sat on her bed and cried.

She shut out the rest of the world for a few moments until the distant ringing of a telephone brought her back to the present. She walked back into the kitchen to hear Summer yelling into the phone.

"I told you last night, she'll talk to you when she's ready! Why don't you get a clue? Please quit fucking calling, you've messed this up badly enough already." Summer slammed the phone down to see Marissa standing in the doorway.

"It was him, wasn't it?"

Summer nervously glanced around the room, trying not to make eye contact with Marissa, "Yeah, he called last night also."

Marissa felt slightly pissed off at Summer, for not letting her deal with her own problems, but she did that for her own good. "Sum, I think that I can handle this. Hand me the phone."

Summer reluctantly handed the cordless over to Marissa's waiting hand, "Thanks Sum, for everything."

* * *

Ryan sat back on the couch, his head in his hands, until he heard the phone ring. He reached over and picked it up.

"Hello?"

"_Hi."_

Ryan heard the other voice answer, "Marissa? Is that you?"

"_Yeah, Ryan can we uh meet somewhere? We really need to talk about last night."_

"Okay." Ryan wasn't sure what to think about this meeting.

"_Okay, the beach in about a half hour."_

"Sure, I'll see you there I guess."

Ryan hung up the phone, a million thoughts running through his head. _What if she asks me for a divorce? What if she wants full custody of the kids? I won't be able to live without her and the kids._

A half hour passed, and Ryan walked down to their spot on the beach. He sat down in the sand and sighed. He turned around to see Marissa walking towards him.

"Hey Ryan."

Ryan jumped up, "Marissa, what do we need to talk about?"

Marissa fiddled with the zipper on her purse, "Ryan uh I really don't know where to start."

"Just start wherever."

Marissa drew in a deep breath, "Okay. Look Ryan I know that there has always been rough patches in out relationship, ever since we got together but never as bad as this. You cheated on me, with a fucking co-worker. That is so low Ryan. You know something the first day I met you was the first time I fell in _real_ love. Sure I had Luke and everything, but that was never love, that was just I really don't know what it was. Anyways I LOVE you Ryan. If you were having problems you should have talked to me. You shouldn't have run off with your co-worker. Does she love you? I'll answer that myself, NO! If you were ever in trouble would she stick next to you? NO! I can't take this anymore, I LOVE YOU! WHY CAN"T YOU SEE THAT! You badly messed this up."

Ryan opened his mouth to say something but Marissa cut him off, "Don't you dare say that you're fucking sorry Ryan. Because if you were sorry you would have never done that. I don't even want to hear I love you from you, because if that were true you wouldn't have broken my heart. I just wanted to tell you that, now you can go fuck that little bitch for all I care. Ryan I still love you, I just can't trust you anymore."

Marissa ran off, and Ryan just sat there mumbling under his breath over and over again, "I am sorry. I do love you."

* * *

Later that night Ryan was sitting on the couch when he heard a knock on the door.

"Samantha? What are you doing here? Do you know that because of you me and my wife are really close to getting a divorce?"

Samantha walked over to the couch and sat down, "Honey that doesn't matter you have me now right? Who cares that you guys are breaking up, at least we won't have to keep this thing a secret anymore."

Ryan walked over to where she was sitting, "I love Marissa. Okay?"

"No you don't Ry. You love me." Samantha pulled Ryan closer to her and pressed her lips against his, just then another knock was heard on the door, this time though the person at the door just opened it.

"Oh man, I guess Summer was telling me the truth. You really did cheat on her, not Summer, Marissa."

Ryan pushed Samantha away and turned around to see Seth standing in the doorway.

"Seth. This, this isn't what it looks like." Ryan exclaimed.

Seth looked at him with a shocked and disappointed look on his face, "You really hurt her Ryan. And now I know for sure that you are having an affair. I'll leave now."

"Seth wait," but Seth was already out the door, "GOD YOU MESSED EVERYTHING UP. GET THE HELL OUT OF MY HOUSE, STAY AWAY FROM ME."

Samantha was startled, "Ryan do you forget that YOU not ME started this whole thing, claiming that your life was messed up and you needed someone to comfort you. Yeah if I remember right that was what happened."

Ryan pointed to the door and between clenched teeth spat out, "Get out of my house. Right now."

Samantha left reluctantly and once again Ryan sat down on the cold, hard floor and cried, Marissa's words still ringing in his ears, _I still love you too Riss, and I'm so sorry. Come home soon please._

* * *

**I just want your opinions, should they break-up or get back together in the end? **


	4. What's a Little More Hatred?

**Title:** Church on Sunday

**Summary: **Future Fic, Ryan and Marissa are married, but what happens when Ryan does something that he'll soon regret. RM angst.

**Chapter four: **What's a Little More Hatred?

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the O.C. sadly, though I wish I did.

* * *

Marissa leaned back against the hard stone bench, as she watched her eldest child clamber up and down the play structure. She still hadn't gotten over what she did to Ryan yesterday, why would he do that to her and then expect her to apologize? Why would he? Her thoughts were broken as she heard Tyler yell out to her.

"Mommy, mommy watch what I can do." The little boy demanded.

Marissa laughed as she watched her son hang upside down from the monkey bars so his shirt fell over his face. She was only laughing on the outside though, she would never laugh on the inside again.

She turned her attention to the little girl that sat playing with a doll beside her,

"Mommy?"

Marissa scooped up the two year old, "Yes honey."

"Where daddy?" the little girls eyes began to tear up, "I want daddy."

Marissa bit her lip, "Daddy can't be here right now, baby. Shh don't cry."

She knew that this would happen sooner or later, she just wished that Summer or someone could have been there to help her out.

She glanced up to see Tyler walking towards her, "Mom, where is dad, for real?"

Marissa stood up, "Lets go back to Aunty Sum and Uncle Seth's house, then we can talk okay Tyler."

She got a mumbled yes from her son and they began the walk home.

* * *

Ryan stepped into his office, his head pounding from a late night spent drinking. He didn't want to come in to work today, he didn't want to have to face Samantha. He had to call Seth and apologize last night, but nobody had picked up the phone.

"Hey Ryan." A voice called out to him.

He turned around to look at who had talked, "Samantha, I told you to stay away from me."

"Ryan your wife left you, so that means that we can finally have an open relationship. People can actually know about us. Wouldn't you want that?"

Ryan sat down at his desk, "You are the reason she left. I couldn't just start a relationship with the chick I cheated on her with two days after she left."

Samantha sat down next to him, "Come on Ryan, you need some cheering up. We can take things slow." She walked out of his office.

Ryan sat thinking, yeah he did need some cheering up, and Samantha was nice, pretty, and smart, actually she was a little bit like Marissa if you thought about it. But he couldn't do this to Marissa, not after he had hurt her so much already. If he had never kissed Samantha nothing like this would be happening right now.

flashback

_Ryan walked into the bar where he was supposed to meet up with some friends from work._

"_Ryan over here." He heard someone call out._

_He walked over to where they all sat, he grabbed a seat beside his friend Chase and ordered a drink._

_A while later a few of them still sat there, drinking and laughing. Ryan stared at that new person who worked in his office, Sara or something like that. She was quite pretty actually, blond hair the same color as Marissa's and eyes a slightly darker blue than his own. _

"_I think I'm going to go now. See you tomorrow Ryan and Samantha." Chase called out._

_Samantha, so that's her name, Ryan thought._

"_You're Ryan right?" The blond haired, blue eyed girl said._

_Ryan nodded his head, maybe he was just really drunk but this woman looked really hot. For a minute he forgot all about his wife and his two kids._

_They continued to talk for awhile until they both stumbled out into the cool, darkness outside._

"_Ryan you're really nice." Samantha slurred.  
_

_Ryan looked at her, "You're not too bad yourself." _

_He took a step closer to her so that their faces were only inches apart. Neither of them knew who made the first move but seconds later that gap was closed and their lips were attached. Ryan ran a hand through her hair as he deepened the kiss._

_Samantha pulled away, "It was nice talking to you Ryan."_

_Ryan just looked at her._

End of Flashback

He got up and started to walk to Samantha's office, Marissa already hated him what was a little more hatred going to do to him.

* * *

Marissa sank down onto Seth and Summer's couch, Seth had taken the kids out to a move so her and Summer had decided to go shopping. Now with a million bags later they both sat on the couch relieved to get off their feet.

"So Coop, how are you feeling about the whole 'incident'?"

Marissa started playing with the zipper on her purse, "I think that I'm going to go over there and settle this. I hated what I said to him yesterday, I have to go apologize and then maybe we can talk about what we're going to do."

Summer looked at Marissa, "Are you sure you want to go over there? I mean what if something goes wrong again?"

Marissa stood up and pulled her shoes back on, "That's the chance I've got to take. Anyways the kids need some more clothes."

**

* * *

**

Marissa opened the door, but saw no signs of Ryan.

"Ryan, are you home?"

Ryan heard Marissa call out his name, he grabbed his house coat and scrambled down the stairs.

"Marissa, I didn't expect you, uh why are you here you made it pretty clear yesterday that you didn't want to talk to me."

"Ryan I came to apologize, I'm really sorry about yesterday." Marissa looked at him, "Plus the kids need some more clothes."

"So I guess that means you're not coming back home?" Ryan said trying to ignore the tension between the two of them.

Marissa shrugged, "I'm not ready right now."

Marissa started climbing the stairs and walked into her kids rooms and grabbed clothes and then walked towards her own room. She opened the door to find a woman lying in her bed, watching her TV.

"Ryan that you." The woman called out.

Marissa was furious, it took him two days to get another woman into his bed, "No it's not Ryan, it's his _wife_."

The woman sat up startled as Ryan appeared in the door way. Marissa ran out of the room and down the stairs, Ryan stopped her before she got out of the door.

"Ryan let go of me you fucking bastered, I want a fucking divorce. That's my finally decision."

Marissa ran out of the house, the tears freely flowing down her cheeks, she got into her car and drove down to the beach.

She sat on the beach flinging rocks into the water, the tears kept coming.

"I HATE YOU RYAN. YOU MESSED UP MY LIFE. I HATE YOU. I HOPE YOUR FUCKING BURN IN HELL." She yelled out to the ocean, before collapsing into the sand and sobbing.

* * *

**Sorry for the long update.**


	5. Divorce Papers

**Title:** Church on Sunday

**Summary: **Future Fic, Ryan and Marissa are married, but what happens when Ryan does something that he'll soon regret. RM angst.

**Chapter five:** Divorce Papers

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the O.C. sadly, though I wish I did.

* * *

The sun poured through the thin curtains, it burned through Ryan's eyelids causing him to wake up.

"Ow, shit what the hell did I do last night?" He said aloud to no one.

He felt someone turn next to him and a female voice called out, "well after that whore you used to call your wife came you tried to stop her from leaving but she left anyways so you called up to me to get dressed cause we were going to go out. So then we went to a bar and you got super wasted, like you could barley stand up. Actually it was quite funny if you think about it."

Ryan's head started to pound even more as the thoughts of last night came flooding back into his head.

"She's really pissed at me." He turned to look at Samantha, the girl who had gotten him into this mess in the first place.

Samantha slowly raised herself out of the bed, "Yes she is who wouldn't be? But why should we bother with her, she wants a divorce. Do you want anything to eat?"

Ryan started to get up but quickly changed his mind when he lifted his pounding head, "Can you just bring up some Advil and water?"

Samantha nodded before bounding down the stairs. Ryan just looked up at the ceiling thinking about how badly he fucked up his life.

* * *

Marissa lifted her tear stained face to see Summer ease her way into the room.

"Hey Coop. How are you feeling?" Summer sat on the edge of Marissa's bed and handed her a glass of water.

Marissa took the water and set it beside her bed.

"How do you think I feel? He is such a bastard. I want everything to go back to how it was, I want to be a happy family again. How in god's name did you and Seth make it through all of these years?"

Summer laughed, "You really want to know how we deal? I dunno, I mean you've seen how many fights we get into but they never get too bad because they usually end after I slap his arm or something because he turns into this big baby and tells me that I have to kiss it better, because I hurt him."

Marissa smiled slightly, "Well that sounds just like Seth. But I still don't get it how Ryan used to be so caring and sweet, but then he started that new job and met that new chick and decided to have an affair. Does god hate me or something?"

Summer stood up, "I'm pretty sure he doesn't hate you. How about we go and take the kids to a movie. We can go see Madagascar or something."

Marissa gave Summer a nod, "Yeah, it'll be good to get out of this house. Just let me get the kids and myself ready."

"Yeah well at least both of yours are already up. Only one of mine is, and he's glued to the TV right now." Summer walked back out of the room and Marissa could hear her yelling at the kids to get up.

Marissa smirked to herself and got up thinking that for sure some things hadn't changed.

* * *

"Mommy, I want popcorn."

"Mommy, I want candy."

"Mommy, I want root beer."

"Mommy, I want chocolate."

Summer glared at the four kids in front of her, "Pick something you guys, with no arguments this time."

Marissa laughed softly to see Summer battling the kids that came straight from hell was very entertaining. They were Seth and Summer combined and that made them whiny, spoiled brats who were constantly arguing or hitting each other.

"Coop, you're not helping." Summer said while glaring at her best friend.

Marissa smothered another giggle, "Sorry Sum, its just really funny."

Summer just turned back her kids.

Joey the oldest Cohen at nine years old spoke up first, "Can I get an extra large drink and extra large popcorn?"

Ramona and Jakob the six year old twins grabbed onto Summer's arms and started chanting, "Me too, me too."

Summer shook off the kids, "How about medium popcorn's and drinks for all of you?"

They all looked at Summer, turning their big brown eyes into sad puppy dog eyes.

"Not the eyes again, fine large popcorns and drinks." Summer turned to her youngest daughter, "What do you want?"

Three year old Estelle Cohen tugged on Summer's arm motioning that she wanted her to come down lower, and whispered in her ear, "I wan candy." Well she started off whispering but decided to yell candy into Summer's ear.

"Okay then popcorn for you three, candy for you, and drinks for everyone?"

Four dark head bobbed up and down.

Summer walked up to the counter, "I'm ready to order."

* * *

Seth walked up to Ryan's front door and rang the door bell reluctantly.

Ryan opened the door and was surprised to see Seth standing there.

"Hey Ryan."

"Seth, uh why are you here?" Ryan opened the door all the way and motioned for him to come in.

Seth walked in and Ryan shut the door, "I just uh wanted to talk about this whole situation."

"Listen what you saw, I didn't kiss her she kissed me."

Seth sank down onto the couch, "Ryan I know what you did last night, I bet the whole neighbourhood did, Marissa came bawling and yelling into the house and I had just fallen asleep and so Summer had to get out of bed and go downstairs and then I followed her even after she told me not to so I heard the whole thing."

Ryan looked at Seth, "I just thought we were already going to get a divorce so why not have some fun in my life for once. I didn't know that Marissa would walk into the house and see Samantha lying on my bed, I didn't know that she had come to apologize. I didn't know! And then she gets all mad and now I know for sure that I'm going to get a divorce and I'm actually happy."

"Ryan, how are you happy about divorcing you wife? She's your wife not some slut that you met at work. Did this slut of yours give you two children?" Seth looked Ryan right in the eyes while asking him all these questions.

Ryan looked back at Seth and answered, "Yeah I am happy because I wasn't happy with Marissa because I would come home after working hard all day and she'd just bitch about how I don't spend anytime at home anymore, and how I'm forgetting about the kids. And sure Marissa gave me two kids that I love but I just don't love Marissa anymore, at least not the way I used too."

Seth was taken aback by these answers, "I don't give a fuck about how miserable Marissa made your life, you really hurt her and I will never be able to forgive you for that." With that Seth got up and made his way out the front door.

Ryan just grabbed the remote and turned on the TV.

* * *

Later that night Marissa went over to Ryan's to give him the divorce papers, she wanted out of this mess as soon as possible.

Ryan answered the door with his hair all messed up and reeking of beer, "Marissa, wadda you want?" he slurred obviously extremely drunk.

"Ryan you know what I want, I want you to sing these divorce papers."

Ryan took the papers out of her hands and put them onto the coffee table, "But Marissa, I don wanna sign stupid papers."

Marissa walked over to the coffee table and picked up the papers, "Ryan you are going to sign these papers right now."

"Fine, but first do you wanna meet my new girlfriend? She is so much bedda than you."

Marissa stared at Ryan, "You know what I'm going to come back tomorrow when you aren't wasted."

Ryan pulled her back, "But Marissa you just got here, why are you leaving?"

Marissa pushed him away, "Ryan I'll talk to you tomorrow."

Ryan started walking to the kitchen, "Fine."

Marissa walked out of the front door and into the pouring rain, she got into her car and started to drive back to Seth and Summer's.

She had tears pouring down her face and the rain poured down the windshield. She squinted to get a better look at the road but could barely see a few meters in front of her.

* * *

Back at the Cohen's house, it became eerily quiet until the phone rang.

Seth reached over Summer and grabbed the phone, "Hello?"

"_Hello this is uh Samantha, I'm uh…"_

"I know who you are, why are you phoning my house?"

"_Ryan is really drunk, too drunk to pick up the phone."_

"Okay so what is it that you need to tell me?"

"_The hospital just phoned, there's been an accident."_

"An accident?"

* * *

**Okay I know I haven't updated in a really long time but things have just been crazy around here. So I'll try to update more often in the future. **


	6. Accident

**Title:** Church on Sunday

**Summary: **Future Fic, Ryan and Marissa are married, but what happens when Ryan does something that he'll soon regret. RM angst.

**Chapter six: **Accident

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the O.C. sadly, though I wish I did.

* * *

Seth went silent, Summer had been staring at him ever since he said 'accident', a million thoughts were running through her head.

"_Hello, Seth are you still there?"_

"Uh yeah I'm here. The accident, who was it?"

Seth held his breath already knowing that it was Marissa but just wanting to hear it from another person.

"_It was Marissa. God I'm so sorry, just can you guys please get to the hospital as soon as you can. But maybe bringing the kids wouldn't be a great idea."_

"Yeah sure."

"_Can you call when you find out what's wrong?"_

Seth was sort of confused, since when was the woman that Ryan cheated on Marissa with concerned with Marissa.

"Uh yeah. Bye."

Seth hung up the phone and started to dial the number to his parents house.

"_Seth why are you calling?"_

"Nice way to answer the phone Mom, do you always answer the phone like that?"

"_What do you need?"_

"Mom, there's been, there's been an accident, a car accident with Marissa somehow involved. We got to get down to the hospital could you come over and watch the kids?"

Seth heard Kirsten gasp over the phone before answering him.

"_Sure, we'll be right over."_

"Thanks mom."

Seth hung up the phone for a second time and turned to Summer whose eyes were filled with tears that started to gently roll down her face.

"Seth it's not true right? This is all just a joke. Right?"

Seth pulled her close, "She'll be fine." He murmured into her ear, not believing what he was saying.

Suddenly there was a knock on the door and Kirsten walked in Sandy following closely behind.

"Mom, Dad, the kids are all watching TV in some room. But you know when they have to go to bed and all the stuff so yeah. We'll call you when we find out something." Seth pushed Summer out the door and they got into the car and drove off

* * *

Summer walked up to the desk at the front of the hospital, tears and mascara streaming down her face.

"Where is, Marissa Atwood?"

The nurse turned to look at something in the computer, "Mrs. Atwood is currently in the ER, but that's all I can tell you."

Summer started heading towards the ER and Seth said a quick thank you to the nurse and hurried after Summer.

He caught up to her as she walked up to the desk.

"Where is Marissa Atwood?"

The nurse looked at her, "Marissa Atwood, she is currently in surgery and I really don't know when she'll be out.

Summer mumbled thanks and walked over to the hard plastic chairs and sank down into one of them, Seth sitting down next to her. She leaned her body, shaking from the deep sobs that racked her body, into Seth who wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her dark head.

"Seth-h I, I'm so sc-cared-d. What-t, what if she dies-s?" Summer looked up at Seth.

He just pulled her closer to him and blinked hard to keep back the tears that threatened to fall, "Marissa if a fighter, she's strong Sum, I don't think anything will happen to her."

Summer just sobbed harder, smearing her make-up all over Seth's shirt.

* * *

Kirsten heard a high pitched sob come from the direction of the room Kira was staying in. She got up from the chair she had been sitting on, wiped the tears from her face and walked over to the room.

"Kira, sweetie what's wrong?" Kirsten walked over to the bed and sat down looking at her granddaughter who had a runny nose and tears in her eyes.

"I wan my mommy, where my mommy gramma?"

"Your mommy is…out right now. She'll be back as soon as she can." It wasn't exactly a lie, she was out if you consider being at the hospital out.

Kira just sniffled and leaned back into the soft pillows, "Gramma? Will you read me a story, mommy aways reads me a story?"

Kirsten nodded and grabbed a book off of the table beside the bed, why worry the kids right now, Marissa could just have a broken leg or something non-life threatening like that.

* * *

Ryan stumbled up to his bedroom where he found a slightly crying Samantha.

"What's wrong? Did you hurt yourself? Did someone else get hurt?" Ryan only slightly stumbled over the words seeing as he had sobered up a tiny bit in the past hour and a half.

Samantha grabbed a Kleenex and wiped at the tears that were on her face, "Ryan maybe I'll tell you when you aren't so drunk."

Ryan mumbled something to himself about not being drunk before tripping and falling face first onto the floor.

* * *

Summer lifted her head off of Seth's chest, and started to walk towards the vending machine. Seth got up and followed her.

"I told my Mom that I'd phone her so I'm going to go find a pay phone cause I forgot my cell."

Summer nodded and started to continue her walk to the vending machine.

Seth started walking down the halls until he came across a phone outside of the cafeteria.

"_Hello."_

"Mom, it's me. We haven't heard anything except for the fact that she's still in surgery."

"_Seth just go back to Summer and call me when the doctor tells you something."_

"Okay mom." Seth hung up the phone and started to dial the number for Ryan's house. He waited for someone to pick up but it went to the answering machine.

"Hey, uh Samantha told me to call her when I found out something about Marissa and well she's still in surgery so yeah. I guess I'll call if I find out anything new."

Seth hung up the phone and walked back towards Summer who was sitting eating a bag of chips. He walked up to her and sat down beside her.

"Seth the doctor said that their almost done."

Seth looked at Summer, "So their going to come out soon?"

Summer nodded her head and laid her head on Seth's shoulder. They sat there waiting for the doctor to come out and tell them what was wrong with Marissa.

* * *

A few moments passed before the doctor came out.

"Whose here for Marissa Atwood?"

Summer raised her hand up, "What's wrong with her?"

The doctor, whose name tag read 'Doctor Andrews' walked over to where Seth and Summer sat he took a deep breath and proceeded to tell them what had happened.

"It appeared to be that Mrs. Atwood's car and another car collided into each others due to the slippery streets from the rain. The person in the other car was pronounced dead at the scene. And Mrs. Atwood, well she had a blood clot in her head which we managed to fix, three broken ribs, and a broken leg…"

Before he could continue Summer jumped in, "So that's all, she's fine, well not fine but okay?"

Doctor Andrews shook his head, "She also just slipped into a coma, we don't know when she'll wake up, or if she'll wake up. You can follow me if you want to see her."

Summer got up and grabbed Seth's hand, which she held in a death grip as they walked down the cold hall to the room where Marissa was.

Summer hurried into the room and grabbed Marissa's hand and started to sob and talk in a fast hurried voice to her. The doctor stepped out of the room and Seth moved over to Summer, where he could now hear what she was saying.

"Coop, you got to wake up, what about Kira and Tyler, they need their mommy. You sure picked a bad time to get into an accident though, I mean with the divorce coming up and all. And what about the baby, at the movies just earlier today I told you that I was pregnant and you were so happy to become an aunt again and now you may never get to see your new niece or nephew. God Coop, please wake up." Summer turned around to see Seth standing behind her.

"So I'm presuming that you heard me Seth."

Seth nodded and looked at Marissa, "Let's just try to keep it a secret for awhile, at least until Marissa wakes up."

Summer nodded her head and looked back at her best friend's lifeless body, and felt the tears stream down her face once again.


	7. Messed Up

**Title:** Church on Sunday

**Summary: **Future Fic, Ryan and Marissa are married, but what happens when Ryan does something that he'll soon regret. RM angst.

**Chapter seven: **Messed Up

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the O.C. sadly, though I wish I did.

* * *

It had been a week. A week since the accident had happened. A week since Marissa and Ryan decided on divorce. Everything had been so messed up in the past seven days, that it didn't even seem real anymore. It seemed as though they were watching a show about their lives, as they sat in front of the TV screen watching. 

Marissa had been in a coma for a week. The doctors said that they didn't know when she'd wake up, or if she'd wake up. If, that word became the worst word ever for her family and friends.

Summer had barely come out of her room, except to get food. Seth had been running the house, which meant pizza boxes and take-out cartons spread all over the kitchen. Tyler walked around as if in a daze, they had told him that his mom had gotten in a car accident, and that she was going to be at the hospital for awhile. Kira on the other hand walked around, closely following Seth, every few minutes tugging on his pants, asking him when her mommy was coming home.

Even Ryan had walked around feeling as if it was all his fault. If he hadn't done many of the things that he had they wouldn't be in this situation that they were in now. He had been over to Seth and Summer's quite a few times to see his kids and to just talk to Seth. And seeing as Summer never came out of her room, he didn't need to worry about being kicked out of the house.

Kirsten and Sandy were upset also, they basically lived at Summer and Seth's seeing as six kids were a lot to handle for one person. Everyone walked around like they were dead, minus the two youngest, Kira and Estelle, who really had no clue what was going on, except that Marissa wasn't at home.

* * *

Ryan walked up to Seth's door and let himself in, he saw Kirsten sitting on the couch and walked over and sat down in a chair close by her. 

"Seth's upstairs, if you came here to see him." Kirsten said softly.

Ryan just nodded and leaned back against the chair.

"I don't blame you for what happened with Marissa, you do know that Ryan, right?"

Ryan turned to look at Kirsten, "I don't care if you do, I blame myself for it, so it doesn't bother me if anyone else thinks the same."

With that Kirsten laid back, getting the vibe that Ryan didn't want to talk about it.

* * *

"Sum, you're going to have to come out sometime. Everyone's starting to worry about you, I'm starting to worry about you." Seth had gotten into the bedroom and was now talking to the bathroom door, in which Summer had decided to hide inside. 

He heard the lock click and saw the door slightly open, he pushed it open and walked into the bathroom and sat down beside his wife who grabbed him and started to cry.

"It's not fair. Coop never did anything wrong, why was she punished? Are people seriously worried about me?" Summer looked up at Seth who nodded.

"They should be worried about Marissa, not me." Summer felt a wave of nausea wash over her and started to throw up in the toilet.

After she was done she crawled back to Seth who took her in his arms and wiped the tears off her face.

He grabbed her hand and led her out of the room, "Let's go downstairs, to show everyone that you're still alive."

She followed him, her legs slightly shaking from sitting down so much. As soon as she reached the living room door a frown washed over her face.

"What are you doing here? You made this happen. Why the fuck are you in my house?" Summer yelled at Ryan before running into the office and slamming the door.

Seth gave Ryan a look that said sorry and ran after Summer.

Kirsten just looked at Ryan and stood up, "I think I'm going to go to bed, maybe see if Sandy has gotten a hold of Jimmy or Julie yet."

Ryan put his head in his hands and started to cry, he knew that Summer was right. He knew perfectly well that he had had a part in the fact that Marissa lay in a hospital bed right now. He stood up and left the house, getting into his car and driving to the hospital.

* * *

"Summer its okay, he left now, please come out Sum." Seth knocked lightly on the door before making his way back through the piles of jackets and backpacks that littered the floor, to the living room where he collapsed on the couch. 

Not a minute later he saw Summer come and sit beside him.

"You know that all the crying and worrying is putting stress on you, its not good for you or the baby." Seth looked into Summer's bloodstained eyes.

"I know, but it's my best friend Seth, my best friend. Marissa is the only real friend that i have ever had. She can't leave me, hell she just plain can't leave. It would tear everyone apart."

Seth wrapped his arms around Summer's small frame and kissed her softly on the head, "She'll wake up baby, and then everything will be back to normal. Well not normal but how it was before the accident."

Summer sighed knowing that even if Marissa did wake up nothing would ever be like it was before.

* * *

Ryan drove up his driveway and walked into the house. He walked into the living room and saw Samantha lying on the couch flipping through the TV channels. Samantha looked up and saw Ryan standing in the doorway looking at her. 

"Ryan, have you heard any news?"

Ryan walked over to her and collapsed onto the couch, "Nothing yet. I feel like shit about this whole thing. I mean I know I wasn't the one that ran into her or anything but I feel like it's partially my fault. It just makes me feel so messed up inside."

Samantha hugged Ryan and stood up, "I think that I'm going to go home and get some stuff, you shouldn't be left alone but I really need some new clothes."

Ryan nodded his head and wandered into the kitchen to grab something to eat.

Samantha stepped towards the door, "Bye Ryan."

Ryan mumbled a bye and wandered back to the couch.

* * *

It had been a week since Marissa had been in a coma. Sandy had gotten a hold of Julie and Jimmy, who had both rushed back to Newport upon hearing the news. 

News had gotten out about Summer's pregnancy and she was now three months, and spending all her time at the hospital by Marissa's bed.

"Coop, please wake up. I'm begging you." Summer put her head in her arms and sobbed, amazed that she still had tears left, after the many times she had cried in the past week.

Marissa didn't reply, she didn't even move a finger. They had almost all lost hope that she would ever wake up. Joey knew something was wrong, actually all the Cohen kids except for Estelle figured something was up, seeing as their mom walked around crying and their Aunt Marissa wasn't at home. They never said anything though, for fear that it might upset Tyler who knew that his mom wasn't with him because she was hurt.

They didn't tell the kids anything besides the fact that Marissa was hurt. They didn't want to worry them even though they knew that sooner of later they would have to tell them.

Joey walked up to where Seth was sitting on the couch in the den.

"Dad, what's wrong with Aunt Marissa?"

Seth looked into his sons brown eyes before answering, "I…uh…she's in the hospital cause she…uhm…got hurt."

"Dad I want to know what's wrong, shouldn't I be able to know? I'm not a baby anymore."

"Okay fine. Marissa got into a car accident, and is now in a coma. A coma is where the per-"

Joey cut off his dad, "I know what a coma is. Is she going to be okay?"

"I don't know."

Joey's eyes began to tear up, "But, but if she dies then Tyler and Kira won't have a mom, and, and…"

Seth sighed, "Joey nobody said that she was going to die, they just don't know what's going to happen to her yet. Please, please do not tell Ramona, Jakob or Tyler about this. And it might be a good idea if you don't tell your mom, she might get mad at me for telling you."

Joey nodded his head and blinked away the tears before running back to join the other kids in the play room.

* * *

Two months quickly passed by. They had finally told Tyler about his mom, and had even taken Kira and Tyler to go and see Marissa. That visit had ended in tears and questions.

The phone began to ring and Summer reached over and picked it up. Seeing that it was the hospital she answered it with hopes that they would have good news about Marissa.

"Hello, are you calling about Marissa Atwood?"

"_Actually yes we are. Are you part of her family?"_

"Yes, I'm her sister-in-law."

"_Okay. I don't know how to say this but Marissa Atwood was proclaimed dead a half hour ago. I'm really sorry."_

"What, what are you talking about. Marissa can't be dead. She was supposed to wake up. Please tell me this is some sort of sick joke, please."

"_I'm really sorry, but this is no joke. Can you or someone else come down to the hospital? We have some forms you have to fill out and stuff."_

"Yeah sure, I, I, some one will be there soon." Summer managed to choke out in between sobs.

"_Thank you. And once again I really am sorry."_

Summer hung up the phone and walked over to Seth and collapsed into his arms, sobbing.

"Sum what's wrong?"

Summer looked up into Seth's eyes, "She's dead, Marissa's dead."

* * *

I know I know I killed off Marissa but everything happens for a reason right?


	8. Hearts torn in Two

**Title:** Church on Sunday

**Summary: **Future Fic, Ryan and Marissa are married, but what happens when Ryan does something that he'll soon regret. RM angst.

**Chapter eight: **Hearts torn in two

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the O.C. sadly, though I wish I did.

To all those people who said that they aren't going to read my story cause I killed off Marissa...piss off. I really don't care, its my story and I make the decisions about what happens. Okay then now that I have said that lets get on with the story.

* * *

A week had passed since Marissa had passed away. Ryan broke up with Samantha and didn't come out of his house, or talk to anyone. Summer still walked around sobbing as did most of the people in the Cohen household.

They had told Tyler and Kira with bad results. Tyler locked himself up in a room only coming out to eat, not going to school or anything. Kira on the other hand understood as well as she could and cried all the time because they said her mommy wasn't going to come back home, since she was in a new home in the sky.

No one had gone to school in the past week. No one had gone to work. No one had cleaned up or showered. There was junk all over the floor but no one noticed, they were all wrapped up in their own thoughts.

* * *

The funeral for Marissa was to be held on Saturday. On Friday Seth went over to Ryan's to see if he was coming. They talked for a while and the next day, after much convincing from Seth, Ryan decided to come. 

Kira and Tyler had both jumped into his arms, sobbing. Ryan started to cry when he saw his kids. The kids who he had been neglecting lately, who he hadn't seen for a few months.

When Ryan sat down in the front row in the church he looked around at the people surrounding him. Julie, Jimmy and Kaitlin sat together, all three crying over the loss of a daughter and sister. Seth sat with his arms around a crying Summer next to their kids who were quiet which was hard to believe seeing as they were the Cohen kids and they were known for their loudness and rowdiness. He looked at Sandy and Kirsten who though had no relation to Marissa still saw her as a daughter in their eyes, both crying.

He finally looked at Kira and Tyler, Tyler was crying and Kira, who had just turned three, sat on his knee staring straight ahead with a look of sadness on her face.

He felt like everyone had their eyes on him, blaming him for Marissa's death. He blamed himself for her death. He cursed himself every night for making Marissa suffer so much through out this whole thing. Only thinking about himself and never about her and how she felt. Now all because of this Marissa was dead.

The service was finally over and all of Marissa's closest friends and family went out to watch the casket be lowered into the ground.

After the whole thing was done and over with Ryan walked slowly over to where Seth and Summer were standing.

"Can you guys keep Kira and Tyler for a while, I just can't watch them right now."

Seth looked at Ryan, "Sure, it won't be a problem seeing as they live with us right now anyways."

Ryan sighed and handed the two kids over to Seth and Summer.

He left as quickly as he could, he couldn't stand to see another crying face.

He stumbled into the house, tears streaming down his face.

He walked into the living room and walked up to the mantle looking at all the pictures that were scattered all over it.

Their wedding picture. Them with Seth and Summer laughing at something the tiny Joey had done. Tyler's baby pictures. Family pictures with Tyler. A picture of a very pregnant Marissa with a very excited looking Tyler with his head up against her stomach. Kira's baby pictures and their most recent family pictures.

Ryan flipped them all down so he couldn't see the smiling faces and walked over to the couch and collapsed onto it.

He still couldn't believe that she was dead. His one true love was gone. Gone forever and it was his entire fault. Ryan walked into the kitchen and leaned up against the wall, slowly sinking to the ground so his face was in his knees and cried.

He couldn't deal with the pain that this was causing him. He walked over to the cupboards and opened up the one where they kept all the medicine. He grabbed a few bottles of random pills and set them on the counter.

He didn't know why he all of a sudden wanted to die, it was just a thought that washed over him like a huge tidal wave, crashing into him and knocking him over, basically telling him that there was no reason to live.

He shook his head, he couldn't do this. The kids had just lost their mother, they couldn't lose their father too. He walked away from the counter and sat down at the kitchen table.

Ryan made up his mind he wasn't going to let the pain affect him anymore. He walked clumsily over to the counter and opened up the bottles and poured the pills onto the counter.

He got a glass of water and started to swallow them. There was no turning back now and he knew that. He got out a pen and a piece of paper, knowing that he wasn't going to be alive much longer. On the paper it said.

_I can't handle it anymore. I've gone to go and see Marissa again. I'm sorry._

_-Ryan_

He walked back into the living room and collapsed onto the couch, drowsiness overcoming him.

He fell asleep.

* * *

Seth went over to Ryan's house to get stuff for the kids and opened the door with the key they had given him. 

"Ryan? Ryan where are you?" Seth walked around not being able to find Ryan. He walked into the living room thinking that maybe he passed out on the couch or something.

Seth couldn't believe his eyes. Ryan lay on the couch motionless and piece of paper resting on the coffee table.

He shakily walked over the table and picked up the paper reading it and bursting into tears. He fell to the floor and his cell phone began to ring.

"He-hello"

"_Seth? What's wrong? Where are you?"_

Seth heard his wife's worried tone and took a deep breath before answering.

"Sum I'm, I'm at Ry--Ryan's. Fuck, Sum can you, can you please call my dad and tell him to come here?"

"_Seth what the hell is wrong?"_

"Just call my fucking dad."

When he got not response he added to his sentence.

"I'm sorry to sound so mean but just please, please call him."

"_Okay I'll call him."_

"Thanks."

He didn't wait for her to answer he hung up his phone and curled up into a little ball waiting for his dad to come.

Sandy rushed into the house ten minutes later to find a crying Seth and a lifeless Ryan.

Sandy gasped as he saw the scene. Seth walked over to him and collapsed into his father's arms sobbing.

That day a mother and a father lost a son, a brother lost his best friend, and two children lost their father.

* * *

Ryan Atwood's funeral was held the following week, exactly a week since Marissa Atwood had been buried. 

They buried him next to her. Everyone was torn apart even more than they already were. All because of one mistake that one man had made, two lives had been taken and many hearts had been broken.

* * *

**Okay so I don't really care what anyone will say to me about this, it's how I wanted my story to end. If you don't like it fine, I really don't care, like I said up at the top of the chapter its my story not anybody elses.**


End file.
